Isaiah 43:19 is a favorite of mine:
“Listen carefully, I am about to do a new thing, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even put a road in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert.”
I LOVE this verse, because it’s a constant reminder to me that God is in the business of doing new things. He does things in ways our human minds could not even come up with or would not even consider.
He does things we can’t even begin to fathom.
… and He allows things to happen that we might not ever understand.
As I reflect on 2018, I find myself very much wrapped in that last statement….and I can’t help but consider how I could be closing out this year quite differently.
People often begin the new year with a word- something they want their new year to be about.
I thought my word was “abide,” but I discovered my true word of 2018 some time mid-year. My word was SOVEREIGN.
Merriam-Webster speaks of SOVEREIGN this way:
(adj.) “FREE, INDEPENDENT, AUTONOMOUS, meaning not subject to the rule or control of another.”
This means that in my worldview, I believe without any reservation that the triune God of the Bible, the God I worship, the God I have surrendered my life to, Father, Son & Spirit, has complete authority in this world, His world, the world He created.
I also believe that though He is sovereign, things don’t go perfectly in this world, because this world is broken and cursed, and yes, I believe it goes all the way back to the Garden, when Adam & Eve disobeyed God and sin and brokenness entered the world.
And with this was God’s will- His sovereign rule, which includes His perfect will, and His allowable will.
I’ve heard many struggle over the years with why God even allowed The Garden Incident to even happen if He is a God who truly loves…. we could have hours of conversation and discourse about this, but the simple and short answer for me is found in 1 John 4:8b, which says, “.. God is love.”
Because God is love, He didn’t create robots, He created beings made in His own image that He desires to have a relationship with, and a relationship that is forced isn’t really a love relationship, is it? There is evidence throughout the Bible that speaks of the relationship God desires with those He created. He doesn’t force the relationship, He doesn’t force any of us. (great message that talks about this here)
And so there is room in our lives to go our own way. And in God’s will sometimes we go in accordance to His ways, sometimes we go our own way, and sometimes things happen for reasons we cannot understand —the “whys” that exist no matter how hard we try to understand and no matter how hard we want to understand.
And so I found myself there in that last category this past June when I was involved in a car accident. I started some serious wrestling with God about that accident, not understanding, and still not understanding why He would allow it to happen.
I knew and believed and completely trusted (and still do) in God’s sovereignty… and so I laid awake in bed at night wrestling through it with Him…. I was struck throughout my days unexpectedly, and would just wonder the WHYS…. but my absolute trust and belief in this aspect of God’s character kept me going, kept me persevering… when the flashbacks come to my mind, I run back to Him, in fact CLING to Him, telling Him I just don’t understand, but I will continue to trust in His greater plan, His greater purposes, knowing He’s working in me, and likely in ways I just can’t/won’t know about because I’m not God….and so I wrestled and wrestled and wrestled, and laid it back down at Jesus’ feet each time I picked it up, giving all that was going on inside of me back to Him over and over and over again….
So about 2 weeks later I found myself running down a dirt road in Consuelo, Dominican Republic, chasing after the group that had already left to go on home visits as part of our short term mission visit.
I didn’t catch up with the group, but did catch up with a friend who’d also left after the group. Together, we walked to catch up to our group that was in sight, but along the way we bumped into an old friend of ours, and our group entered a house unknown to us as we visited with our friend and his mom.
After our visit, we walked along to find our group, and a boy on a motorbike pointed out the house they were in after we’d passed it and turned back.
We entered the very small house in which our group and the family members were tightly packed in. Though I don’t speak Spanish, I understood enough to know that our translator was talking about Christ with the lady who must’ve lived there. I could also tell the conversation was pretty intense based on his tone.
I was directly behind our translator, and at some point this woman came around to me, and we were face to face….during our conversation we grasped each others’ hands, as I shared my Jesus story with her, and about what He’d done for us…she listened intently, sometimes asking questions or adding her thoughts, when I asked her, “What is holding you back from surrendering to Christ?”
Did she believe us? I don’t know….I do know she has a story, something that brought her to that day in her home when virtual strangers entered in, and shared about Jesus with her, someone I’m confident she’s heard about from those in her community who also follow Jesus…. I believe she’s had a life filled with hardship, based on what my eyes could see… but she has a story, like I have a story, and you have a story…. and these are stories Jesus cares deeply about, and Jesus was in the midst of showing me His care for me, unbeknownst to me.
So back to that moment, when I asked her what was holding her back.
It was as if time stood still, when a voice chimed in of a sister in Christ standing in a corner of the room, a member of the local church we had come to work alongside that week, who was escorting us on our home visits… in that moment, when it was absolutely pin drop quiet, she spoke up saying,“Carol is the Compassion sponsor of her child.”
Remember, I joined the group after they’d left, and our escort had no idea I was joining the group.
If you could’ve been there, you would have known it was an absolutely holy moment. I know my eyes and the eyes of this precious woman’s who’s hands I still held immediately started flooding and spilling with tears….I’m pretty sure that many of us packed into that tiny house were crying, in awe of how God Almighty, in His sovereignty, had ordained this very moment in a tiny home in this village in the DR, a home “which happened” to be the very home of our Compassion child.
Only God.
Only God knew at that point in time of my internal struggle.
Only God knew I needed to know and understand His sovereignty in a deeper way.
It wasn’t an audible voice, but in that moment, the Holy Spirit spoke ever so clearly to me:
“Carol, I was sovereign in allowing that accident to happen in your life, and I’m sovereign in bringing you here today, right now, sharing about Me with this precious woman in a way that you would know deep in your spirit how very, very close I am right now, and will always be. Continue to trust Me, continue to believe everything you know about Me!”
Only God.
Flash forward not even a week later, when our team was blessed with the opportunity to share with a local church about what God had done in the DR.
When sharing this story I said, “Though I struggle and have so many questions for God….HE IS SOVEREIGN!!”
And not a week later, I found myself living “That Saturday In July,” found here. After reading that link, if you so desire you can scroll down my FB wall to July 21, and see what God did this past July and beyond, into just a couple of weeks ago to December (FB profile here).
Nutshell version, my just turned 51 yr old husband went on a jog to the gym when I wasn’t home, and suffered a major heart attack along the way that was witnessed by no one but God Himself.
And was also allowed in His sovereign will.
Little did I know how God was preparing me all along for the hardest week I’d ever walk through as my husband fought for his life in which the circumstances said that he may very well not survive.
But God, in His sovereignty, was there every step of the way in His provision:
- the courageous Good Samaritan who called 911
- the speed in which the first responders arrived, and the outstanding skill they demonstrated in giving first aid to my husband
- The hospital he was taken to, with cutting edge cardiac care
- The exceptional care he was given by his doctors, nurses, and medical team
- The way God perfectly ordained just who I needed to see or hear from when my world was engulfed in darkness
- The astounding way He united His Church to intercede in prayer on behalf of Patrick and our family
- How in His sovereignty, and for reasons we don’t understand, He allowed Patrick to be miraculously healed and leave the hospital 9 days later after collapsing in that neighbor’s yard
These are just a few examples- if you were to read my journal, there are so many more!
“When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior…..you are precious to Me. You are honored, and I love you. ‘Do not be afraid, for I am with you.’” – Isaiah 43:2-3b, 4, 5a
And so SOVEREIGN is my word for 2018.
I wouldn’t be completely honest if I didn’t admit there were days when I caught myself saying, “I’m ready for this year to be over, God. Can we just get on with 2019?”
But in the midst of these times in the valley and on the mountaintop, I’ve come to know Jesus more deeply— still not understanding everything, but having a greater understanding of His sovereignty. I’ve also come to not take each day for granted. I pray that I never return to knowing that in my head but not in my heart!
In the midst of these times, I’ve drawn closer to my Savior. I know Him in ways I wouldn’t know Him if He hadn’t sovereignly ordained my 2018 the way He did.
Am I excited about the fresh page turning into the new year?
You’d better believe I am!
Would I rather suffering wasn’t a part of our world? Of course I would! But I’ve learned personally, and through so many people I know that God moves powerfully in our lives as we turn to Him and trust Him and put our WHYS in His care.
I once heard a pastor say this about the Bible, and I believe should also be considered in regard to God:
“There are parts of it (the Bible) that I don’t fully comprehend and understand, but I’m not supposed to, because the Bible is a revelation of an infinite God, and no finite person is ever going to fully understand. If they do, their god is too small.”
Knowing I will never know or understand completely the Bible or the God of the Bible, I close out 2018 with my word SOVEREIGN, ready to ask God to give me a new word that draws me closer to Jesus and into a deeper relationship with Him.
I also acknowledge my God who does new things… my God who puts roads in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert…my God who can bring light to any darkness, who promises never to leave or forsake me, my God who brings dead things to life, makes beauty from ashes, and loves us so much He sent His Son as baby to live a perfect life as God and man, who willingly walked to a Roman cross to pay a price for sin that only He could pay.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 says that God has planted eternity in the human heart,
That eternity is for something that can only be filled by and through Him, and the invitation comes through His Son, Jesus Christ.
The wonder of why God would even do this astounds me!
What will your word be for 2019?
I’m leaning toward LOVE or INTENTIONAL— maybe both, as I want to be intentional about loving people where they are so I can share the hope that only comes through knowing Jesus Christ. Maybe the word will be HOPE.
Looking forward, I JUST WANT TO KNOW! But that’s where the trust part comes in. So many words to consider, what is being placed upon your heart today?
Hope by Tenth Avenue North:
Go? 